There are 3 parts to the experience Love, and 3 distinct skills of love to master. Find out where you are strong in Love, where you are weak, and the simple steps you can take to master all 3 parts of the experience of Love.
Transcript of the video:
Hi. This is Dmitri Bilgere, and I’d like to talk to you today about the three parts of the experience of love in your life. So much of the work that I do with people is about helping them connect with their experience of love, and I’ve found that when you understand these three parts, or phases, of the experience of love, it actually really helps you bring it into your life.
So what are these three parts?
The first part is: How does love come in to you? How do you receive it?
So this is really the question I’m asking: When you open yourself to whatever you call it–your blessing current, the love of the universe, God’s love, the love that other people have for you, that the people in your life who love you have for you–when you open yourself up to that loving, blessing current, what is your experience of that like? Do you find that you’re really good at opening up to that and letting that come in and letting that maybe touch the parts of you that are having a difficult time, letting that buoy you up? Or is that more difficult for you to really allow blessing and love in?
This “in” part is the first of the three parts, and it’s important. So that’s my first question for you: How are you at letting that love in?
Second question: Once you take it in, how do you experience it? How do you hold that experience of love, or blessing, or goodness inside of yourself? How does it fill you up? If the act of letting it in is inspirational, how does it fill you up and make you know that you are loved and you have love? That you are blessed and you have blessing?
This is an important part. This is a lot where self-esteem and the ability to believe that you can do things lives. The belief comes from this sense of, “I’m filled up with love and I can dwell in it.”
I’d like to suggest you think of it as a suit of clothes you can step into. If it coming in is somebody giving you the clothes, the experiencing of it–how you hold it inside–is how you wear and put on that sense of blessing and that sense of love.
What’s that like for you? Are you strong in that? Or is that a place where you could use some practice?
And then the third part is: How does it go out from you? When you’ve said, “Yes, I’m going to allow blessing and the blessing current and love into me,” and you’ve said, “Yes, I’m actually going to experience it inside myself. I’m going to let it fill me up and I’m going to have it,” then you have to ask, what is it like as it flows out into your world? How good are you at loving others? How good are you at blessing your life, both the way it is and having sort of that esteem to believe that, “Yes, I can step out into my plans. I can actually try new things. The love that comes into me and fills me up can flow out into the world.”
It’s a calisthenics you can practice
So as you evaluate yourself, you can ask, “Where am I strong?”
A lot of people I work with are really good at giving love to other people. They’re less good, however, at receiving it for themselves.
Or maybe they can receive it for themselves, but it doesn’t seem to stick with them. So they have an experience where they’re loved or an experience where they feel blessed, but it doesn’t hang around.
Or maybe they’re really good at feeling a lot of esteem for themselves, but they’re not so good at giving it to other people, or trying something new in their lives and believing that that something new can go well.
So I want to suggest to you that each of these is a discrete experience you can open yourself up to.
- What’s it like when it comes in? How good are you at that?
- What’s it like when you experience it and hold it? How good are you at that?
- And what’s it like when it flows out?
If you’re only good at one part of this, see how it feels to go to the others. Very often I work with people who are good at loving, but not so good at receiving love, so I’ll say, “Great. This love is coming out of you. Imagine you’re loving someone you love or something you love. Feel how for that to happen you have to be filled up with love. And feel how for you to be filled up with love, that has to come into you from somewhere else. And you can get those links in the chain. Now feel how it feels to move from the loving out to the holding love inside for you. Feel how it moves from that to the sense of receiving it as it pours into you. And feel it coming back to you. And feel it going out.”
It’s almost like a calisthenics you can do to get better at the three parts of love. Because I want to see you being able to turn in the moment and receiving love and blessing from the people who love you, from the universe, from whatever higher power you believe in. I want to have you be able to really fill up with it and walk around in your life with this sense that you’re filled to the brim with love and blessing. And I want you to really be able to let that spill out into your life so you can give it to others, so you can create a better world for you and for the rest of us.
So let me know what you think in the comments. Ask any questions, give me your opinions. And this is Dmitri Bilgere, until next time, signing off.
What “gets in the way” will vary. It may be that you’ve tried everything you can think of, but still can’t seem to land the job you want. Or it may be that you’ve tried “spicing things up” with your spouse, but your spouse hasn’t responded. Or it may be you tried dieting, but diet food all tastes like sawdust and is flat-out boring to eat.
We’re not robots, having robotic relationships. If we were, perhaps we’d be able to just flip a switch and not take things personally any more.
So often relationship problems seem to come down to the question, Who’s the jerk here?
The body, like a mother, is pregnant with the spirit child.
From time to time I’ve heard people say, “My problem is I’m too nice.”
