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The Hazards of “Thinking Big” Part 2

April 22, 2014 by Leave a Comment

 

In my last video (click here to watch it), I talked about how the ability to continue to hold on to a vision is the big difference between people who are successful and people who try, but fail.

The people who can hold their vision, no matter what happens, are the people who can “Think Big,” and get big results.

For the rest of us, it might be a little more complicated.

You see…

“Thinking big” won’t work for you if your experiences have taught you that the world is set up for you to fail. 

Put another way…

To “think big,” you have to change your WORLD.

If you’ve ever tried “thinking big” and it hasn’t worked for you — or if you’d like to think big, but are worried that you might fail — you’ll probably want to watch this video.

 

Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation, practical spirituality Tagged With: ,

The Hazards of “Thinking Big”

April 16, 2014 by 4 Comments

Lots of people like to tell other people to “Think Big.”

And for some people, “Thinking Big” works.

But for others, “Thinking Big” the first step on the road to disappointment.

It’s time to change all that.

In this four-minute video you’ll discover:

  • Bill Kauth’s story about how his “Big Thinking” goals for the ManKind project came true,
  • Why “Thinking Big” works for some people but spectacularly FAILS for others,
  • How “Success = Vision + Persistence + Patience,” and
  • How being able to maintain your “vision” is the HARDEST (but least acknowledged) part of successfully “Thinking Big.”

“Thinking Big” IS important. But if you don’t understand the Hazards of Thinking Big,” you can get into a lot of trouble.

Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation, practical spirituality Tagged With: ,

The Problem with “Focus” Nobody Talks About

November 22, 2013 by 2 Comments

New video: Everybody talks about how important “focus” is, but there’s a show-stopping PROBLEM with focus that nobody ever talks about. Sidney Poitier faced it. Have you?

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New Year’s Resolutions: “I’d rather live in a dumpster and eat trash than…”

December 31, 2011 by 1 Comment

It’s New Year’s Eve, and people are talking about resolutions.

But if changing were as easy as “resolving to change,” you’d have already done it.

You have to have power and motivation to make resolutions work.

In this New Year’s 3-minute video, I talk about how you can get to a potent source of motivation for change…

By harnessing the part of you that would rather “live in a dumpster and eat trash” than have something continue the way it is.

Plus I give an update on my weight-loss project, for those who have been following along!

Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation, practical spirituality, weight loss project

Secrets of focus: Getting all your wood behind one arrow

September 9, 2011 by 3 Comments


Most people try an unfocused, “scattergun” approach to success… They “shoot everything they’ve got,” assuming that something will succeed.

That may seem like a good idea, but it’s fatal to your sense of FOCUS…

And FOCUS is what you need to succeed.

In this video I trace the source of “focus” — and share,

  • Why the “scattergun” approach to success may seem intuitive — but it’s actually a problem you must work against,
  • Why shooting toward ONE THING is critically important,
  • Why priorities are like arms.. and how when you say you have more than two of them, you go crazy,
  • What high-tech startups, user interface designers, and Apple Inc., can teach you about focus, and
  • The path to focus that you can follow, so you have a natural flow from your “inner state” to your “external success.”
Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation

A heart-centered approach to integrity, accountability, and excellence

August 27, 2011 by 2 Comments

Too often we use “integrity” and “accountability” to beat ourselves up — or to beat up other people.

I think we can do better than that.

And after blowing my own word — right after teaching about accountability on a recent men’s weekend — I learned some great new stuff about integrity, accountability, and the state of your heart.

I’ve posted what I learned in the video above.

Integrity is an important tool for creating great things in your life. There’s no doubt about that.

But if you blow your integrity, you must know how to handle it so you can get back on track, feeling even better than before.

… And that’s where most of us fail.

When you blow your integrity, it’s not enough to “own” that you did it. It’s not enough to “get back into integrity” with other people.

You have to look at what happened in your heart when you didn’t keep your word.

In this video I share a new view of accountability that takes your heart into account… Because it does no good to “get back into integrity” with other people, if, deep inside, you’ve given up on yourself.

If you are at all interested in integrity and accountability, I really think you’ll want to watch this video.

P.S. Please share this video with anyone you think might appreciate it. I know it’s an issue a lot of people struggle with; hopefully this will help.

If you’d like to be updated when I post new articles and videos, sign up in the sidebar to the right.

Filed Under: effectiveness, handling stress, relationships Tagged With: , ,

Going beyond your “breaking point” and staying in the light

August 15, 2011 by 1 Comment


 

Here’s the transcript of this video if you’d prefer to read it…

Hi, this is Dmitri Bilgere, and I’d like to talk to you today, real briefly here, about a conclusion that I’ve seen in myself and in others, that we unconsciously draw.

…And when we draw this conclusion, everything goes off the rails.

I’ve been seeing it in myself, I’ve been seeing it in clients, I’ve been seeing it in other people. And I want to share it with you so that you can start to develop an awareness of when this is happening, and begin to make a choice about it, rather than having it be something that just occurs, and you are left with the aftermath of it.

“I have to step out of the light”

Now as you may have guessed from what I have written on the board here, the conclusion that people draw is “I have to step out of the light.”

Let me give you an example of this to show you what I mean, and to show you why this is so toxic. I’ll give you an example from my own life.

We all have longings

We all have longings of our hearts that are worth taking the time to get in touch with: they are great longings. And one of the longings that I have to be really a fountainhead of light, a source of light, a source of inspiration for people. To really encourage people to continue to step into goodness, to continue to step into virtue, to encourage them in believing that a better life is possible for them, and to go for it.

This is important to me, it gets me out of bed in the morning. I wake up in the morning, and that prospect, of being that kind of a light, it works for me. It moves me forward.

But life happens

So, what happens? Life happens. The other day I started the day with this intention, but, as the day was going by, I was noticing that nothing was working the way it was supposed to work. It seemed like everything was breaking.

  • My body wasn’t working the way it was supposed to — I felt lots of inflammation, and headache, and joint pain.
  • My relationship wasn’t working the way it was supposed to — Fawn wasn’t doing things the way I would like her to do things.
  • And other things just weren’t working out — even the car was breaking.

There’s a breaking point

There’s this way that things “stack up” in us. And it was “stacking up” in me.

So before my day went wonky, I was “I want to be a source for the Light. I really believe in goodness, and I’m in touch with it, and it’s all great.”

But as the day went on, I became “Oh, the car doesn’t work. Oh, I’m feeling really sore in my body. Oh, Fawn’s not doing what she said she’d do.” It was one thing after another.

And you can imagine what happened. They call it “reaching your breaking point,” but what’s really happening is we say, “in the face of this much stuff not going my way, I have to step out of the light.”

And we decide we have to step out of the light

So I want you to start asking yourself, what is the moment where you draw the conclusion that “Ok, at this point, I have to step out of the light”?

What that looks like for me is this: I say, “Okay, trust and faith are all well and good, but in this circumstance, where this many things haven’t gone my way, it’s time for me to go fix things.”

So I go into what I call “Mean Dad mode,” to really make people “straighten up and fly right.” Or I get into “fix it” mode, where I really double down on stress and pressure to “make it happen.”

Perhaps you can relate to this kind of thing. These are the kinds of actions we take AFTER we have decided that we have to step out of the light.

So, what I did was, I stopped for a moment. I turned and opened up, and said,

“Wow, I really see that in the face of enough things not going my way, I believe I have to step out of the light until I get things fixed.”

But the big question is, is that really true? When I turn to the light with that question, what do I see?

The question I’m always asking

It seems like I’m always asking, “When you turn to the light, is that really true?” Looking to an authority higher than your own mind is a core of my work.

So, in this case, when you turn back to your deepest inner knowing, the Light, God, Source, whatever you call it — is it really true that, under certain circumstances you are destined to have to step out of the light?

For me, I get this answer: No, it’s not true.

Seeing that I am not fated to step out of the light when enough things don’t go my way has opened a whole new door for me.

Now when I reach that point that I normally reach — where I start to decide that I have to step out of the light and fix things, and be in the darkness till I have things working again — I know, deep inside, that I have the option of staying in the light.
So my experience is different. Instead of being “I have to make this work,” It’s more like, “Wow, I don’t know what I’m going to be like staying in the light in this circumstance.”

  • I don’t know if I’m going to be more patient.
  • I don’t know if I’m going to have more forbearance.
  • I don’t know if I might be stronger with people, and be more demanding — but be demanding in a way that’s heart to heart with people.

I actually don’t know who I am on the other side of the decision to not step out of the light.

But I am certain of this: however I behave in the light will be better than how I’d behave out of it.

Because surprises happen when you stay in the light anyway. That’s even when miracles happen, because you are living your day in a completely new way.

Give it a try

I know this is a fast way to explain this, but I want to get these ideas across to you quickly, so you can start playing with them.

Here’s what I suggest:

Start keeping an eye out for where it is your “breaking point” is…

…And start to see that “breaking point” as the point where you lose heart and make the decision that you have to step out of the light.

Then ask your Inner Self of Something Higher, “Is it really true that I have to do that?”

If it’s not true, then stay with the light, and start to see what happens when you go even further with it. I think you’ll really be surprised by what’s possible.

Posts about related topics

Go for what you want by understanding your longings

How to get back in touch with the source of your motivation

If you want to be generous it’s good to be rich

The fundamental mistake that causes you to lose heart, and how to avoid it

Filed Under: effectiveness, handling stress, practical spirituality

The Lesson of the Fire

June 30, 2011 by 6 Comments

Years ago, on a perfect summer night, on a sandbar by the Wisconsin River, by a high bluff and under the light of a full moon, I built a fire.

Or perhaps I should say, I attempted to build a fire.

I actually failed at it, repeatedly… Until I had an important insight.

Then the fire practically exploded.

Building that fire taught me an important lesson about getting massive results.

I’ve relied on that lesson many times over the years, but I’ve never really talked about it publicly.

The lesson I learned really flies in the face of the idea that “you should never take your eyes off your goal.” In fact, I’d say that taking my eyes OFF my goal — in the right way — has been one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about manifesting in the real world..

And I learned it that night, attempting to build a fire beside the Wisconsin River.

Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation, practical spirituality Tagged With: , , ,

Go for what you WANT by understanding your LONGINGS

June 6, 2011 by 2 Comments

Your mind responds to what you see in the world… Those responses are desires.

You’re heart responds to Divine qualities expressed in the world… Those responses are longings.

In this brief video I show you how to get in touch with your longings so you can whole-heartedly pursue what you want.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: effectiveness, manifestation, practical spirituality

Why “Do your best, then relax” doesn’t work, and what does

May 30, 2011 by 2 Comments

When I was a kid, I got hooked on a song from the Disney film “the Happiest Millionaire.”

It’s called “Fortuosity.”

In the movie, a happy-go-lucky guy dances around and sings about how “My philosophy is do your best, and leave the rest to fortuosity.”

The message of the song is simple: “Do the best you can, and have faith about everything else.”

http://youtu.be/k-mDrxLVuVU#t=1m20s

I remember I really loved that idea when I first heard the song.

But even as a kid I remember thinking, “How do I do that? How do I do my best and have faith about everything else?”

It’s a great deal — with a catch

It certainly sounds like a good bargain:

If you

  • do your best, then you
  • get permission to relax and have faith in the Divine (by whatever name you call it) to take care of the rest.

“Just do your best and leave the rest to fortuosity.”

But there’s that catch…

But it’s a deal with a catch… And the catch is this:

You rarely really know, with certainty, that you did your best.

And if you don’t really know that you did your best, the whole deal falls apart.

If you’re going to do your best so you can relax and have faith, you actually have to achieve “doing your best.”

And it turns out that asking yourself “Did I really do my best?” is a great way to drive yourself crazy … Because you can always find a way in which you probably could have done what you did even better.

Because you never really know you did your best, you don’t get to “just relax and trust.” You just get more tension as you strive to do your best “good enough,” so you can finally relax.

“The Deal” has it exactly backwards

The fundamental problem is this:

The deal that life offers isn’t “Do your best, and then you can relax and have faith about the rest.”

The actual deal is “Relax and have faith. Then you’ll be able to do your best.”

It’s a completely different approach… and it has a completely different result.

You can’t do your best from a poor state of mind

If you are feeling unsupported in life, alone, or afraid, you’ll inevitably set the bar for “doing your best” impossibly high. That’s because when you are upset you confuse doing “your best” with “doing everything so well that I finally feel safe in life, once and for all.”
Fundamentally what you’re saying is “I’ll be perfect, then I’ll be able to feel good inside.”

And that’s exactly backwards.

You have to care for your heart first

You need to say, “I’ll care for my heart first, so I feel good inside. Then I’ll discover what I’m moved to do in the external world.”

Once you’ve cared for your heart, you’ll

  • be in your best state of mind
  • be authentically you
  • feel faith, feel taken care of, and
  • feel in the current of Divine Love and Mercy.

And from that state, you won’t need to make any deals about “doing your best” so you can finally relax. You’ll automatically know when you need to strive, and when you can let go and relax.

The state of your heart = the state of your life

I know I’m always on about “caring for your heart first.” That’s because I want these posts to be a constant inspiration and reminder for you to look to and care for your self in every situation.

We live in a world that does not value taking care of your heart. I don’t have to tell you that. But if you really want to actually enjoy your life — not to mention live it well, and have the best chance of achieving what you care about — you have to be one of the people who goes against the crowd and who makes it a priority to care for the state of your heart.

As I’m fond of saying on this blog, “the state of your heart equals the state of your life.” Please take that seriously. It’s my hope that these posts help you start to see that every situation is one in which the state of your heart is important.

Many people go through life disconnected from their Source of Mercy, so they inflict merciless lives on themselves. Or, like in the case of “do your best, then you can relax,” they wait to achieve some sort of perfection before they open to Divine nurturance.

But the Source doesn’t say “perfect yourself then open to Love.” If anything, the Source says “open to Love and be perfected.” There is mercy for the hearts of those who look. I suggest you go to that mercy first.

Related Posts

The fundamental mistake of losing heart

How to get back in touch with your motivation

The “healing examples” video on the coaching page

Maybe you shouldn’t jump off a cliff

How to be the “empty cup” that calls forth compassion and healing

Self-Compassion: Healing’s Secret Ingredient

 

Filed Under: effectiveness, handling stress, manifestation, practical spirituality
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