Welcome to the Carpet Work Facilitator’s Club!

Hi! I’m glad you’ve joined the Carpet Work Facilitation Club!

(If you haven’t joined, and you want to, it’s free — you can join here.)

I’ll be posting occasional Facilitation Training and Carpet Work Theory videos and tips here… And you’ll be notified by email when I post more, or when I schedule a free tele-class.

New Innovation in the “Warrior Identity Wound”

To start, I’m posting this is a video I recently made for my fellow “Shadow Work” facilitators.

In it I talk about the different Archetypal “Identity Wounds,” and chart a new approach to handling the Warrior “Identity Wound.”

I hope you enjoy it.


About Dmitri


  1. I’m very excited about this new Carpet Work club. I like how you have broken the quarters down into these core questions, which I have not seen before. I see the sov/lov questions both revolve around the concept of love. The magician wound also seems to easily connect with a concept of love. I wonder if you see love as a core concept to the warrior identity wound as well. The first thing that comes to mind for me is, “how do i deny authority…so that I am authorized to love?” Not sure if that fits, but I’d like to hear your thoughts.

    • Hi Jason,
      I see the Magician and Warrior archetypes as being about DISconnecting, while the Sovereign and Lover are more about connecting. I think the “Deny authority so I’m authorized to love” can be translated as “I don’t TRUST any authority, so I HAVE TO deny it in order to love. That “having to deny authority” is then what needs to be worked.

      If I get a bunch of questions, I think what I’ll do is just make a video or videos to answer them, so if anyone has questions about carpet work, ask away!

  2. Thanks Dmitri. Interesting! Since your thesis hinges on the word “authority”, I would like to hear more about what you mean by that word. I am one who believes that the universe “works” perfectly without the need for an entity to pay any specific attention to me. My actions have an effect in the world and I respond to the ripples that those actions have on me via the effect they have on others and my environment, together with the “uninvited” ripples of other people’s actions. I do not believe that there is a God who decides on an hourly basis that I need some kind of lesson. If there is a God and he/she/it advises us not to judge, on what basis would he/she/it decide that I “needed” a lesson?

    What I do believe is that the Universe is so magnificent and perfect that my experience of it (“positive” and “negative” as foolishly judged by me) fills me with wonder. So I submit to the “authority” of that perfection – I certainly couldnt do it any better! Does that fit your thesis or are you making it more deity based? Hence my question about what you mean by the word “authority”. I am open to the possibility (based on your thesis) that I have a Warrior Identity wound as evidenced by my response. 🙂

    Thanks again for all you do!

    • Hi Murray,
      I think it has to do with there being different “versions” of us — our inner archetypes. You might say that the King/Sovereign needs to enjoy the Perfection, the Lover needs to feel the sensation of that perfection, the Warrior needs to submit to and serve that perfection, and the Magician needs to see the options in that perfection.

  3. Dmitri,

    Thank you for this. Everything you do is great – and your Shadow Work and Carpet Work coaching is the very best part.

  4. Hi Dimitri – and once again a big thank you.
    A useful concept and one that has come into my life – with a woman that has come into my life – as a blessing and as perhaps the greatest challenge – because she “pushes my buttons” – that is she crashes against many of my internalised “rules”. So I either grow – or I go. And I am trying the “grow” bit – to find out what the rules are that trigger me – and then to learn from them. I have no idea what “God” is or isn’t – but if I just hold that when I get out of the idea that I am responsible for everything – that I am not in ultimate control – that I am not in the drivers seat – then I can be open to “be in the now” and live – instead of being a record player – re-playing my old patterns.

    • Hi Bruce,

      That is certainly the case between me and my wife! I had all sorts of “rules” about how a relationship should be — my perfectly reasonable list of “must haves” and “deal breakers” for the woman I’d end up with.

      My wife, Fawn, makes a mockery of my lists. And she is clearly perfect for me.

      For me, marriage has been a great example of how I have to submit my service (Warrior archetype) to a larger authority (that “gave” me the woman I’m with). And I benefit GREATLY from the growth and joy of that process.

  5. David Baycura says:


    Thank you for bringing yourself forward, constantly.

    Your ideas resonate with meaning for me, but the language of “Identity Wound” doesn’t. Maybe that’s from not following you enough to know your perspective on things. Maybe there’s a wound behind everything, and maybe that’s a limiting perspective from which to view experience. But my real larger point follows:

    Your original post and answer on perfection brought to mind the nine perspectives from which to view the divine, the enneagram people describe (holy perfection, holy will, holy truth, holy love, holy omniscience, etc.). Your positing, in other words, describes a suffering, brought on by being separated from authority (greater than self). This supports the enneagram’s idea that all human suffering is the result of us being separated from the divine: In the authority case, being separated from the Holy Will aspect of the divine; and in the perfection case, being separated from the Holy Perfection aspect of the divine.

    I wonder what richness might be added to your evolving work, by looking at each the enneagram’s nine views / perspectives of the divine, in terms of the four quadrants, causes of suffering, and fully reclaiming the Self.


    • Hi David,

      Good point. I definitely agree that suffering is caused by the belief that we are not going to get what we need — not going to get the blessing, not going to have the Divine with us with whatever we are going through. And I think you are right that each archetype has its own “way” back to that Divine blessing.

      I’d be interested in your opinion about how the 9 enniagram types would integrate into the model.

  6. Hi Dmitri,

    I LOVED the discussion of the warrior’s identity wound and how it might center around “how do I deny the authority of any power greater than myself.” I also loved the comment ‘Those of us who do this work might have this wound in spades.’ hahahaha…

    *bashfully raising my hand.*

    I am very interested to hear how you can take identifying this wound to a new place with carpet work. Questions that come up for me:

    * Once you recognize this wound as a self-truth, then what? How do you learn how to submit? How do you “just” give up control?

    * How does a person discern between an authority worth submitting to (higher power) and a false authority (work, bad relationship, the ‘rules’ of the world, etc.). Seems to me that discernment makes all the difference in whether you submit in “a good way.”

    * What would a ritual/process look like to help someone submit? What might that be on the carpet?

    I don’t expect you to answer all these questions in this Comments section, though I have enjoyed reading your responses to others. But I wanted to contribute to the ongoing conversation. Maybe these will be topics for future videos!

    Thanks for inviting me. I’m glad I’m here.


    • Hi Edmond,

      Welcome, I’m glad you are here.

      These are GREAT questions…. Basically, I’m summing them up with, “Okay, I agree this is a wound. How do we work it?”

      I don’t have a great answer for that yet. It came about spontaneously in processes for me. I’d step into my Higher Power’s point of view on my issues with not being married, and it just came out, with clarity and force.

      The feeling was similar to how I felt at some points when I did the New Warrior Weekend: “This harshness should feel bad, but actually it feels like it’s feeding me something I need.”

      Perhaps that’s how you tell if it’s “right”: It FEELS right. The warrior-wound-busting voice I got wasn’t saying “Get used to the fact that you can never have what you want, loser.” It was saying “I can give you something beyond your wildest dreams, but not if you don’t sit down and shut up and LISTEN for once.” And it said that with the kind of POWER that the Warrior would understand and respect.

      Big difference.

      I’m still not sure the best way to give this experience to someone who needs it on the carpet, but doesn’t KNOW they need it. That’s a place for exploration.

      I do know that many people who are attracted to this kind of personal work have been wounded by the idea of higher authority, and need this help. Let’s see what we can discover together.


  7. David Kelm says:

    It is always refreshing to read your thoughts. The term ‘authority’ for me carries some judgement conotations. But when I dropped the “ity” part and consudered it as the author or source of unconditional love, I can more easly accept the now as a gift of everything I need and begin releasing the working for and expecting everything I want.
    Thanks again,

  8. Steve Norcross says:

    Dimitri, certainly one place where authority becomes an issue is on the New Warrior Training Adventure, especially when the initiate is invited to step out onto the carpet and essentially turn his life over to the staff assigned to his process. Those who resist this most strongly, and are willing to let go “just this once” are the ones whose guts work are often the most profound.

    • Hi Steve–
      I hope that the Warrior Weekend is conducted in such a way that men receive guidance during carpet work, but that their ability to make their own decisions about what they do is always respected.

      But there IS something about being willing to risk, being willing to trust, and being willing to go outside of your comfort zone. That IS where miracles often happen. I would hope that, in the Warriors, men might DECIDE to let themselves try something new, with the full awareness that they can change their mind at any time. A

  9. Anne - Victorious Compassionate Lioness says:

    There’s a book entitled “Culture of Honor” by Danny Silk. He’s in Redding, California @ Bethel Church. The Contents of the book is possibly counter culture, and is not politically correct, but it might address “authority” / a higher power’s authority. If one wants to view the warrior wound in the Christian realm, with the assumption that one has a personal relationship with Christ, then some authority challenges might be answered as you dig into the book. No. It’s not religiosity that I’m suggesting. Read it for yourself and see if any of it resonates, or can be combined with Carpet work.

    • Hi Anne — I’m Christian, so I’ll check out the book. I think it’s natural, on a genetic level, for human beings to look ‘up’ to something Greater, and it’s well worth exploring.

  10. As Edmond said, once authority is decerned to be healthy, kind of like the authority of a good Father or Mother, ascent to this person provides strength and clarity, order and direction. A coach embodies this authority figure the best for me, I was lucky enough to have wise and caring coaches growing up…for the most part. But, what happens when we are treated with something less than unconditional love and recklessness, we may begin distrusting anyone that symbolizes authority…especially the ultimate authority or author – God.

    Trusting an authority, when I became a big warriors, enough to surrender my control is in my experience totally liberating. For me, this authority promised unconditional love, forgiveness, and new life…I accepted,! But without submitting or cooperating to this authority daily, the rebel warrior in me trades down these promises and remains in a rebel without a cause.



  11. One idea I’ve been exploring recently is the dialectic between struggle and surrender. It’s one of life’s greatest challenge to know which is appropriate. When I’m out of whack, I surrender where I ought to struggle, and I struggle where I ought to surrender. My sense of the warrior wound is that it comes from betrayal — I submitted to untrustworthy authority, so either I give up on my own discernment and am everyone’s bitch, or I give up on my own discernment and am everyone’s enemy.

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