If you want to be generous, it’s good to be rich

I love the saying, “If you want to be generous, it’s good to be rich.”

Today’s post shows how you can make use of that wisdom to give from the overflow of your own inner richness.

Let’s begin by looking at when life is calling on you to give and what life is calling on you to give. [Read more…]

The fundamental mistake that causes you to lose heart, and how you can avoid it

There’s a Fundamental Mistake at the core of every loss of heart:

Believing that if you can’t see a way towards achieving your heart’s longing, it means that there is no way forward.

There you are, pursuing your heart’s longing. Perhaps it’s to find a great job, or to build a great relationship, or to lose weight and develop stellar fitness.

You’re buzzing along, but then something gets in the way.

There's no way forwardWhat “gets in the way” will vary. It may be that you’ve tried everything you can think of, but still can’t seem to land the job you want. Or it may be that you’ve tried “spicing things up” with your spouse, but your spouse hasn’t responded. Or it may be you tried dieting, but diet food all tastes like sawdust and is flat-out boring to eat.

You hit a problem that is in the way, and you can’t seem to get past it.

In the face of that problem, you make the Fundamental Mistake: On a subconscious level you conclude, “I’ve tried everything, and nothing works to bring me closer to achieving my heart’s longing. Therefore, there must not be a way forward.

And that’s the moment you lose heart. [Read more…]

Everything is Personal

There’s a lot of talk out there about how taking the things of life personally is a bad idea.

And it is.

But we do take things personally, because we are people… and simply deciding to stop taking things personally isn’t going to work.

Let me explain…

You’re a person. I’m a person. Anyone who’s reading this is a person (or perhaps an exceptionally smart dog). ūüėČ

We’re persons, so we have personal relationships. That’s the kind of relationship persons have.

We’re not robots, having robotic relationships. If we were, perhaps we’d be able to just flip a switch and not take things personally any more.

But, like I said, we are persons.

And as a person, not only do you make it personal when things happen to you — you do it in an instant, far too quickly to stop before it happens.

So the question is NOT “how do I stop taking things personally?”

The question is, “How do I handle it when taking things personally is messing up my life?” [Read more…]

Healing for Achievement Teleseminar Replay

Click the play button on the player below to play this teleseminar.

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This call — called “Healing for Achievement: How to use healing work to accomplish¬†things that seem impossible‚ÄĚ —¬†is in celebration of my launching this new website.

If you feel so moved, please leave a comment below and say “hi” — I think that’d be a great way to get some energy going on this brand-new website.

After I edited down the Q&A parts, the call came in at just under 27 minutes.

I think that 27 minutes will be of interest to anyone who wants to be able to use healing tools to accomplish real things in the real world.

On this call we covered…

– What to do when your inner dials of “trying harder” and “being smarter” are turned up to “10,” and it’s still not enough to reach¬†your goal,

– How to be transformed into the “next better version” of you, who can accomplish the goals that seem impossible for the “current version” of you,

– How “achievement and transformation walk hand in hand”…¬†and why trying to achieve, without emotional transformation,¬†is next to impossible,

РExamples of the transformations and actual miracles that occurred as I created my new website,

– Steps you can take to turn your impossible binds into “doorways” to transformation,

– A darn good Rumi quote,

And I also announced my next daring project: I’m going to lose the 50¬†pounds I have to lose — and that I’ve persistently shown I’m not capable of losing — by using NO willpower, NO beating myself up, NO suffering, and the tools I talk about on this call. (I’ll also be blogging every step of that journey for those who want to follow along.)

Enjoy!

How to use "Authority" to change your limiting beliefs

I’ve noticed an interesting thing as a workshop leader and as a coach:

Sometimes I’ll simply tell someone that something is possible for them, and they’ll believe me.

And they won’t stop there — they’ll live from this new belief, and get awesome new results.

That’s because an Authority can change beliefs. My Authority is so strong for these folks, it overrides their own belief and allows them to be different.

An “Authority” can change your belief about yourself when you believe in that authority more than you believe your current, limiting belief.

An Authority can be a coach, a therapist, a guru, a friend… It simply has to be someone you believe in more than you believe in your own limitation.

An Authority is someone where you stop and say, “Wow, if they say it, it must be true.”

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"My problem is I’m too nice."

My problem is I\'m too nice!!From time to time I’ve heard people say, “My problem is I’m too nice.”

In fact, I’ve probably said it once or twice myself. ūüėČ

But there’s a problem with saying “My problem is I’m too nice.” I’ve noticed that, most of the time, the people who say it are often the same people who can be overly harsh and sometimes even mean.

Yes, sometimes they are “doormats” for the world, but at other times, if anything, they go overboard with compensating for that, in the pursuit of not being “too nice.”

And in my observation, that has never helped their situations.

Today I’d like to help you get to what is really going on if you find yourself thinking “My problem is I’m too nice,” and offer some guidance of where you really need to look if you feel like you’ve been stuck being a doormat.
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How to be the ’empty cup’ that calls forth compassion and healing

As I’ve been preparing for this series of newsletters about compassion, I’ve been most surprised by two things —

First, by how hard it is to precisely define compassion in a way that really encompasses it — and

Second, by how well you can be guided in being compassionate by simple “do and don’t” -style rules.

Today I want to talk about the experience of compassion… And to give you the first surprising thing I’ve discovered about using compassion to bring healing to yourself and to others.

What is compassion?

Of course, I’m not in any way the first person to write about compassion — it’s a BIG subject. The Buddha said that “Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others.” Some have described it as an “emotional resonance.” I think of it as “feeling for” or “feeling with” someone as they are going through difficulty.

But rather than struggle with definitions, let’s talk instead about the sensation of compassion — where the “rubber hits the road” in your experience.

How do you know if you are feeling compassion, for yourself or for someone else?
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Self-Compassion: Healing’s Secret Ingredient

It’s almost a taboo in our society to have compassion for yourself. If you were taught anything, it was probably to NOT have self-compassion, to not be a “crybaby,” or to “stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

And that’s too bad, because opening your heart to yourself is a critical part of any healing experience. The better you are at it, the faster and deeper you will heal from any upset.

If you know me (ether through these newsletters or from my seminars or phone coaching), you know that I’m always looking for the “secret ingredient” — the one thing in any situation that has a disproportionate effect on the outcome.

In the healing process, one “secret ingredient” — the simple thing that accelerates you toward the “healing moment” — is self-compassion.

Opening your heart to YOURSELF does more to bring about healing than just about anything else.

I’m going to share some tips, techniques and insights I’ve found have made it easier for people to access their self-compassion. (And, as a bonus, it will also make it easier for you to be compassionate to others!)

Once you know these simple steps you’ll be able to get through upsetting experiences faster, get unstuck more quickly, be able to go for what you want with your whole heart. You’ll also be able to be happier and more at peace no matter what your circumstances.
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Audio: Spiritual Healing in Relationships with Jim and Zaina Keeley

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I’m excited to be posting this 32-minute interview with Jim and Zaina Keeley.

Jim has more concentrated, useful, practical wisdom than almost anyone I’ve ever worked with, and I make it my business to show up at most of his workshops, no matter where they are.

Jim and Zaina have been married for 10 years, and are happier together all the time. The love and the excitement of the relationship has lasted for them.

At the end of July they are running their first relationships workshop.

My future wife and I are going to this workshop, so I decided to interview them about it, and share that interview with you.

Please note: I am not being paid to tell you about this workshop. I’m going to it, and I think you might get value out of it too.

In this 32-minute interview with Jim and Zaina, they cover…

  • Practical steps for growing spiritually in a relationship,
  • How a relationship can go from being just a place a person gets his or her needs met to becoming a place where people grow together into their fulfillment and happiness,
  • Why sharing feelings or your “truth” can sometimes turn into a fight or a session of complaining, and what to do about it,
  • How the purpose of relationship communication is not just to get your point across, but to discover the next place inside of you that you need to transform to move even deeper into the relationship,
  • The problem with thinking that your partner are the same person every day, and how who you partner is today asks new things of you… and how those new challenges can be catalysts for transformation,
  • How Jim and Zaina “hold” each other during conflict, and avoid the major traps of “just listening” to your partner.
  • How to get past the idea that “sooner or later all couples drift apart” or the other ideas that dull many relationships,
  • How to listen “deeper” to what is upsetting your partner,
  • The “subtle losses of heart” that happen in relationships, and how to overcome them,
  • Good news about how a couple can set the intention to be ridiculously and outrageously happy together, and can keep that intention (and experience) alive through the bumps and challenges of the relationship,
  • and more.

About their workshop:

Location: The workshop is happening in Auburn Massachusetts, USA. (By the way, Fawn and I are traveling from Madison, WI to this workshop, on the weekend before our wedding… We think it’s worth traveling to get to this workshop, and encourage you to think so, too.)

Date: Saturday and Sunday, July 26-27, 2008.

Price: Probably because this is the first time they’ve let this workshop, it is priced at only $150/person. (I think you can expect the price to go up dramatically in the future.)

Who can come: This workshop is open to people who are in a relationship, those who would like to be in one, or someone who is getting over a heartbreak or anyone else.

Next steps for you:

If you’d like to hear more from Jim, he has a free newsletter and many hours of free audio at his website http://howtowalkwithgod.com (Opens in a new window).

To find out more or sign up for the workshop, you can email Jim at james@howtowalkwithgod.com.

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And please feel free to comment on this post!

How to open to Blessing to transform your problems

In this new video, I show, step by step, how people who are experiencing problems or issues tend to AVOID their connection to Blessing.

I’ll also show you the one mistake that people make when they don’t rely on their connection to Blessing.

I’ll show how that one mistake leads to struggle, difficulty, trying harder, and “loss of heart” in the face of the challenges of life.

And I’ll give you a blueprint of how you can start avoiding that mistake RIGHT AWAY, and…

  • Begin reducing struggle in your life and taking the “weight of the world” off your shoulders,
  • Improve your relationships with your spouse, family, or at work
  • Find empowering motivation for truly changing your behaviors,
  • Find peace if you are upset or experiencing difficulty,
  • Build a strong and practical spirituality,
  • And find “heart” in the places you’ve “lost heart” in your life.

I hope you enjoy the video, and PLEASE leave a comment letting me know what you think about it!

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(I also want to thank my friend and mentor Jim Keeley for all his help and inspiration in this!)